Asian Sexuality Matters

Updated: Aug 30, 2021


Look, I love my Asian community, we get a lot of good education on our academic future, career future, financial future, relationship future, parenting future and even retirement future. A lot of my Asian clients and friends started retirement plans fresh off college and bought first property in late 20s or early 30s.


But what about our sex future? Sex future was never mentioned in my household or any other Asian person that I know. I firmly believed there was no future in sex for womxn for postmenopausal womxn for 20+ years… I learned we can have a vibrant sex future until we die in school…and you see, not everyone goes to school to learn sexuality.


Some might argue and calling me old school. I know views on sexuality, especially Asian sexual culture is changing quickly. Urban Asians have also become more open about sex as discourse on sexual health increases. Urban millennials and Gen Z’ers are getting on through Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and every other variant thereof, and they’re actively talking about it.


👉Is sex really rapidly leaving the realm of the taboo and verboten in our Asian community?


👉Perhaps it is something we can talk about now, is it good enough to just talking about it?


👉Why it takes me years to help some Asian clients to be able to—— just turn on the light—— to let their partner see their beautiful body?


👉Why are Asian women still committing suicide due to loss of virginity before marriage?


👉Why so many queer Asians came out to the world but not to their Asian parents?


👉Have you all reflected on why Asian women are the most desirable yet Asian men are the least desirable in the heterosexual dating community?


👉Is it the same in Asian Queer community?


👉Is Asian fetishization or yellow fever still a thing?


👉How does racism affect our sexuality?


👉And What about the recent (perhaps not just recent) hate crimes against Asians affect our sexuality?


👉Power is a big component of our sexuality, what does it say about us sexually without any power to defend our community, our elderly?

Sorry for rambling and all the difficult questions. It was supposed to be a love letter to my fellow Asians.


I’m not a sentimental person, but thinking about Asian Sexuality making me angry and we all know anger is the surface feeling clouding so many deeper vulnerable feelings😖⁠


The worst part is, I cannot answer these questions, and I really need all of you to be a part of this, not just having conversations and talk about sex, we need actions, we need more Asian sexuality educators, therapists, allies to support our community.


To make it possible to have a vibrant sex future💪⁠

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