Porn and relationships can bring up much more than sex. A trauma-focused sex therapist explores how porn can activate insecurity, autonomy, power, and safety—and when it can actually support intimacy and connection.

High achiever burnout isn't just about working too much. For many successful professionals, constant achievement becomes intertwined with self-worth, making it difficult to slow down, be present, or simply enjoy their own company. This article explores the hidden psychology behind performance-based self-worth and why healing begins with rebuilding your relationship with yourself.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I shouldn’t have had that cookie today, but since I already ruined my diet, I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the week"? Or tell yourself, "my partner said something upsetting to me, we must be incompatible."? If so, you've experienced all-or-nothing thinking. All-or-nothing thinking, also called black-and-white thinking or dichotomous thinking, is one of the Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs). It is a tendency to se

Learn how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy explains perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, and the inner critic through managers, firefighters, and exiles, especially within Asian American and immigrant experiences.

Successful people often spend decades preparing financially for retirement, but few prepare emotionally or erotically for aging. This article explores sexuality and aging through intimacy, body image, emotional connection, and long-term relationships. It reflects on how older adults often become more sexually alive not because their bodies stop aging, but because shame, performance pressure, and self-judgment loosen their grip over time.

High Achievers: Make Anxiety Your Ally to Thrive In today’s fast-paced world, many of us carry a constant weight of expectations—at work,...

Finding a good therapist isn’t easy. Even with the best matchmakers for you (I consider myself a pretty good matchmaker both...

Most people associate grievers with asexuality. So when grievers do start to feel sexual, they often instantly start to shame or...

I get clients asking me everyday, “Is it me?” “Am I abnormal?” “What do I do to increase or decrease my sexual desire?” As I...

Meditation has been shown to have a great benefit in reducing stress, anxiety, and focusing in the present. This increases our awareness...

We’re launching Part Two of our bilingual bicultural Love and Sex empowerment program for Asian women this weekend. The beta version is...

Perhaps you’ve tried CBT before or know a lot about it. Maybe it was effective or useless. Perhaps it’s completely new to you and you...

Look, I love my Asian community, we get a lot of good education on our academic future, career future, financial future, relationship...

Yes, I’m old school, but it works, especially during the pandemic. Look, I understand you might be “running out of time” , “what if I miss out someone good”“my friends are all married”, “Chinese New Year and Valentine’s day are approaching, my parents will drive me crazy”… The reality is how much time, energy, money, emotional bandwidth you have to date new people everyday? When you date hastily, how many meaningful conversations can you actually have? How can you make infor

大家好， 我是Ally Counseling and Therapy创始人，赖彗临, LCSW-R。很多来访通过我们中心的支持团体认识我们。心理支持团体是一种有效的治疗方法。很多时候，我会问我的来访“你刚刚跟我分享的这个问题，之前有和你的朋友们讨论过么”，来访常常很诧异，我...

Dear readers, I’m Huilin Lai, LCSW-R, the Director of Ally Counseling and Therapy. Many of you probably learned about us through our...

Hey there, I’m not channeling my ancient asian energy here today. I will introduce an effective stress reduction technique created by...

Happy New Year!!!!!I am thrilled to introduce two amazing emerging therapists to you. We warmly welcome you (socially-distanced) with...

新年快乐!!! 我很高兴给大家介绍新加入Ally Counseling and Therapy的两位治疗师。 我是怎么想到在疫情期间慢慢壮大治疗团队的呢？其实这真的出乎我的意料。或许是由于多方压力吧，身体健康，经济和生活方式的大幅度改变，好多人第一次求助心理咨询。我从没想过...

本文转自赖彗临个人主页 身体不听话 身体和大脑有时候“打架”的体验我们都知道吧，想想看有多少时候明明知道该起床，该干活了，身体却处于罢工状态？很多来访都和我反应我身体里面住了个“小孩”，“不听话”。我问ta， "真的是小孩不听话？还是那根本就不个孩子？" ...