Ivy Mao
She/ Her
Tier I therapist
"We are not determined by our experiences, but are self-determined by the meaning we give to them." — Alfred Adler
Sometimes we wonder whether adapting to the world has required us to give up too much of ourselves. Sometimes we lose trust in our own ability to grow, heal, or change — in relationships, at school, or at work.
My name is Ivy, and I am a mental health counselor. I am here to accompany you through that process of rediscovery.
I believe it is our natural capacity to heal and love, and to form our own resistance to this imperfect world — finding our voice, feeling and listening to our emotions. And I will accompany you through the journey of rediscovering that natural capacity, creating a space where you can feel safe. I also believe that an equal and genuine relationship between us, one built on honesty, mutual respect, and constant presence, is not just a path toward healing, but a part of healing itself.
My approach is relational, person-centered, and experiential, with mindfulness and care. I'm devoted to understanding you, your intersecting identities, your life experiences, and the relationships you hold, with others and with yourself. I believe together we co-create a space where the parts of you that feel hard to say out loud can finally have room.
I support people in reclaiming parts of themselves that have been silenced, adapting less through self-abandonment and more through self-trust.
My Story
Growing up as a woman, first in China, I learned early what it means to be "nice", to make yourself agreeable even when something inside you knows otherwise. Over time, I've come to see how these quiet expectations shaped the way I related to my own emotions and voice.
I began to notice how these expectations extend beyond gender alone. Moving to the US as a young adult, I realized many people, across cultures and identities, learn to edit themselves in order to belong — softening emotions, minimizing needs, or questioning their own inner voice in order to maintain connection, safety, or acceptance.I know this not just as an idea, but as something I have felt in my own body, a quiet tension that comes from living between who you are and who you feel you need to be.
In my own life, learning to reclaim that voice has been a persistent and ongoing process, and it continues to inform how I show up as a therapist, with a deep belief that knowing what we know, and saying what we feel, is not just possible, but something we are all naturally capable of.
Entering adulthood, I found myself drawn to counseling above all other paths, since it is founded in searching for authenticity, and because every session, every person, is entirely its own. The opportunity to be present with someone in their life journey, to witness the different, vivid story of each individual in their own voice, is what resonates and inspires me.
During my internship at a psychiatric hospital, I was speaking with the family of an adolescent struggling with depression. At the end of our conversation, the words 'Don't worry too much' slipped out before I'd really thought them through, and the mother replied, 'It is impossible to not worry for us.' That moment stayed with me. I realized that real presence isn't about offering comfort, it's about being willing to enter someone else's reality, even when it's painful.
That experience, along with my work in sexual violence support and youth mental health, brought me to pursue my master's in Mental Health Counseling at NYU, where I continue to shape my own therapeutic voice.
Therapeutic Approaches
My therapeutic work is rooted in a person-centered approach, learning and discovering alongside each client about themselves and their connections in a collaborative way.
I integrate multiple approaches flexibly, depending on what each person needs. I draw on CBT particularly to help clients identify and examine automatic thoughts, bringing awareness to the connection between thinking patterns and emotional experience. I draw on existential approaches when clients are navigating difficult decisions or struggling to find meaning. It enables exploring questions of freedom, responsibility, and possibility to help reconnect with one's own agency. And I draw on psychodynamic perspectives to help clients discover their emotions and unconscious patterns in their relationships and daily life, so that with greater self-awareness, one can find their own agency to change what no longer serves them, or to accept what is.
Specialties
I specialize in relational and emotional challenges, particularly with people who are longing for authentic connection but wondering how to find it.
I work especially with young adults navigating identity, cultural adaptation, life decisions, and questions of self-worth. I have a particular understanding of the psychological stress that comes from the gaps between what one feels and what feels safe to express, especially for young women experiencing different cultures. There is a specific kind of distress in the context: if you show up as yourself, you fear you won't be accepted by others; if you don't, you can't accept yourself. I believe that the therapeutic space can be one place where that gap begins to loosen.
I am also particularly attuned to the ways gender socialization shapes our emotional lives， whether that means the pressure on women to stay agreeable and small, or the expectation on men to stay strong and silent. I welcome working with anyone navigating the weight of these expectations, including those recovering from the effects of toxic masculinity or exploring what a fuller, more authentic emotional life might look like for them.
Through my work in sexual violence support and youth mental health, I have developed a trauma-informed approach that holds each person's cultural identity and life experience as central — not as background, but as the very ground we work from.
Credentials
-
Supervisor: Huilin Lai, LCSW: R081942
-
Degree: New York University - Master of Arts in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness, NYU Steinhardt (in progress)
-
Degree: Brandeis University- B.A. in Psychology and Economics
More About Me
Outside of my clinical work, I find joy in dancing. It's my way of coming back to my body and to the present moment. I'm also drawn to film and media, and how storytelling and pop culture intersect with relational psychology. If you happen to spot me at Metrograph or the New York Film Festival, feel free to exchange a smile with me.
I take a genuine interest in the intersection of technology and human life, particularly technologies like AI with its ability to enable us to be more creative, as well as the potential ethical questions around its use in society.